Do Televangelists Dream of Electric Imps?

"I lifted you from the tomb world just now and I will continue to lift you until you lose interest and want to quit. But you will have to stop searching for me because I will never stop searching for you."
- Philip K. Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

Is it a coincidence that the Pope's recent confirmation that it is A-Ok to believe in Aliens comes only shortly after a much rumoured space story had been spread: that the First Phase of the Milky Way's 12th Planet Nibiru is Due in the Fall of 2009? I think not.

Televangelists Jack and Rexella Van Impe have been, for the last 7 years or so, preaching almost exclusively about the coming Rapture and have recently narrowed down the date to the Inca calendar prediction of December 21, 2012. They then continue to quote the Bible as frivolously and emphatically as possible. Yet there is something out of place with these evangelical telemarketers. In other words, there's more to the Van Impes than meets the eye.

The name "Impe" is derived from the word "imp," a fairy-like creature often compared to a demon. Imps, in fact, have often been the name bestowed upon the attendants of Satan. The character of Pan has also been categorized as an imp in some cases, although Pan is Hellenic, not Germanic. But wait a minute, the faun is also considered one of the attendants of Lucifer is it not?
In Pan's Labyrinth, Pan is sent to the Earthly realm to help the Princess of Hell complete three tasks so that she can return home, in other words, so she can go to Hell. Pan's assistants are also fairy-like creatures, or "Imps". Together, the imp-like titular character and his impish friends make up a Messenger for Satan. Believe me, this goes deeper, or should I say, higher?

In his novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (which conveniently takes place in 2021), Philip K. Dick writes of a character named J.R. Isidore, a human who was so effected by the "dust" that he was unable to emigrate off of Earth to Mars. Because of this he is called a "chickenhead." There is a scene in the book where Isidore, so tortured by the idea of life and death, falls into the tomb world where he sees dead things coming back to life, and is then brought back to life. Let's dissect shall we?
The name Isidore can literally be translated to mean "gift of Isis." Now, the Freedom Tower, which has an expected completion date in either 2011 or 2012, will have a huge light on the top of it which will appear to pierce the sky. It will also stand directly in between where Towers 1 and 2 stood. In this picture of Isis, we can see that she stood between two pillars as well.
And what will appear in the sky when it is pierced by the light of Isis? Why, her gift of course: Abraxas, the chickenhead. Isidore's resurrection is symbolic of the coming construction and lifting of the Freedom Tower into the sky to reveal to us the chickenhead.

Isidore's initials, J.R., also remind us of Jack and Rexella, the foreboders of what is to come.

Let's move back to Nibiru for a minute. It is said that the dwarf-star's complete orbit takes roughly 3600 years and that it should start to appear in our Southern Skies in Fall of 2009. As Van Demigod will tell you, this will cause 36 months of devastation and havoc for our planet. Which means that it all ends, in whatever way, at the end of 2012.

With the expectation of devastation and illumination ahead of us, the question still remains: what does this have to do with aliens? Well, let's just ask Dr. Rex.

Dr. Rexella Van Impe is a peculiar woman to say the least. If you were to only hear her talk you would think you were listening to your run-of-the-mill, every day Apocalypse preaching evangelist. Sigh... But then, when you see her, she has the same pear shaped head of say, oh I don't know, LAM? And the female messenger has yet another meaning behind her name as well.









Rex meaning King, Ella meaning Light. She is the King of Light. The light refers to transmittance of the sun's blaze on to the planets, and in particular, its increasing glare on Nibiru, the 12th planet, Planet X. Rexella is the King of Nibiru! And she is here on Earth spreading the message of the Rapture because she knows when, where and how it will take place. She is in fact, the overseer of the Rapture itself!

With all of this in tow, it is important to remember the root meaning of the word "Nibiru": ferry or crossing. The arrival of Nibiru, coinciding with the rising of the Freedom Tower is the crossing!

Gee, I hope I make it to the other side alive.

"The doors of heaven and hell are adjacent and identical."
- Nikos Kazantzakis, The Last Temptation of Christ

Indiana Jones: The Beginning and the End

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last."
- Revelation 22: 13

In almost every religion or belief system is the promise that we will live again. Scratch that. Every religion. The origin of the religious interests of all peoples is at the heart of the adventurous spirit of Indiana Jones. Our investigation follows Indy step by step through his latest escapade in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Let's start where every story starts - the setting, namely, an American desert, 1957.

You have to wonder whether the scientist in Dr. Jones would have noticed a subtle change on the American symbolic landscape in the early 1950's: namely the appearance of the Babalon Star.

Throughout the early 50's, the police installations in major American desert areas adopted the use of a seven pointed star for its shield. You will find these appearing at this time in California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah and Texas. Now, as all tin hats know, there were two distinguished happenings in these desert areas at this time: the testing of nuclear weapons and the alleged discovery of alien wreckage. Please note that around this time Americans and indeed people of the world were being conditioned to the alien presence in such classic films as The Day The Earth Stood Still which came out, coincidentally, in 1951.

Putting first glances and obvious arguments aside, a deeper look into the coinciding happenings of the outer-worldly appearances and the changing of the police shield from 5 or 6 points to the never before used 7 pointed star reveals all. Perhaps more than you want to know.

The key number is 51. Alien buffs and U.F.O.-headz do not need further schooling. Would you be shocked to know that the number of degrees separating the points of a 7 pointed circle is 51 degrees? OK. Keeners will note this is not an exact figure. The exact figure is 51.42857.

Late May 13th, Catholic periodical The Roman Observer reported that Pope Benedict and the Church at large accept the possibility of intelligent life off-earth. This report went worldwide May 14, 2008. Please note that May 14, 2008 fits our key figure to the third decimal. 5-14-2xx8. This leaves us with the 57, the remaining digits, which brings us back to Dr. Jones.

'57 is not only the year of Indy's close encounter of the third kind, it is also the exact number of years since 1951. 1951 plus 57 years is 2008. The auspicious year of the papal announcement that aliens are ok, and just one week before Indy's return to the big screen. Icing on the cake: later this year the release of the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Sweeter still, consider that the digits 1, 9, 5 and 7 total 22. 22 is an occult number of supreme significance. Do your own research but we give you this tidbit: 22 over 7, which is the integral fraction used to denote Pi, produces the same repeating decimal strand as in 51.42857: namely, 3.142857. The number 142857 has magickal properties to delight the mind. It is a cyclical number which is especially significant in the light of the Alpha and the Omega sequence that promises resurrection. The theme of resurrection is critical to the theme of Indy's adventure.

The word "Return" is the pivot to Indiana's resurrection. Not only is it a strongly repeated word through out the entire film, it even merits a title selection on the soundtrack. Indy's "return" is represented three times within the film's first thirty minutes. First, by the appearance of the film itself. It's been 20 damn years after all, since the so-called 'Last Crusade'. Second, we are introduced to the older and wiser Indy as his disheveled corpus is pulled from the trunk of an army Studebaker. And finally, he will emerge from a lead-lined refrigerator would-be coffin that saves him from the certain death of Oppenheimer's Doom-Town countdown.

But the "return" is not exclusive to Indy, as he himself points out in the film. The task to return the Crystal Skull to its rightful place leads Indy and his audience into the revelation of the Last Supper and resurrection, encoded as 13 aliens at rest becoming One Living Alien who ascends to the heavens at the film's climax.

The revelation of which we speak is by no means just any revelation, but the revelation. This is supported by some good old fashioned synchro-mystic resonating. We accept that Aragorn, the King who Returns, is a simulacrum of King Arthur, the once and future King. Please consider the following with appropriate amazement: actor John Hurt was the voice of Aragorn in Ralph Bakshi's animated The Lord of the Rings. Hurt further resonates King Arthur as Harold Oxley in Indy IV. It is in his role as Magnanimous Cuckold that this connection is proven. For just as King Arthur was cuckolded by his adventurous friend Lancelot, so will Oxley be cuckolded when Indy marries Oxley's stand-in wife Marion Ravenwood.

The resolution of our resonation resounds as John Hurt's Professor Broom from Hellboy. We remind that the climax of Hellboy is concerned with Biblical Revelation and the memory of Professor Broom hangs heavy over the scene. Should we be at all surprised to find Hurt/Broom/Oxley embroiled with pesky Russians as he was in Hellboy at the end of Crystal Skull? For as the aliens escape the surly bonds of Earth, leaving no trace of their passing, Professor Oxley quips, "Like a broom to their footprints".

Upon his discovery of Akator, the place in which he is instructed to return the Crystal Skull, Indiana Jones finds himself in a room filled to the brim of its fedora with artifacts of every religion and culture. Indy jumps to an immediate conclusion, "They're archaeologists" and he is mistaken. It is not that the aliens have come to Earth to collect knowledge from us or learn our different teachings, it is that they have bestowed all of them upon us. They are the ones who have the knowledge to which we all aspire. That is why in all of his adventures, the powers of each artifact Indy seeks is real.

The movie seems to say that to gain the knowledge of these aliens that we too could ascend to higher knowledge or another dimension or who-knows-what?. However, because it is Professor Oxley's and Professor Jones' return of a missing piece to its whole that the story of Crystal Skull proves a ripple of the myth of Osiris, who was also troubled by a certain missing piece. Images of Osiris show a remarkable resemblance to the Crystal Skull we examine.

All of this in a single bite ought to prove, as it does to the authors of this piece, that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a nigh on to blatant initiation into the ancient mysteries of Babalon.

And the candle on our cake... Aleister Crowley. Crowley of course designed the 7 pointed Babalon Star seen here.

Take a look at Crowley's good buddy LAM, seen below, with whom Crowley claimed to communicate. Get it through your SKULL! We're not talking about fiction here.

Written by The Sister's Son and The Wrong Way Wizard

This article is rated 23% Evil and 77% Good by The Sect of Homokaasu