Chocolatey Secrets of the Rabbit's Egg

There lies in the lies of Christian lore an exuberant amount of creativity. By that I mean that there is so much creativity found within Christian lore that not only are the authors able to spin and weave such wicked tales, the Catholic stooges have hidden well their deepest, darkest secrets, and they've done so by hiding them in the Word. That's right. The Holy Scripture. The Book of Life. The God Damned Bible.

Before we jump into this pool of knowledge, we'll have to climb the Tree of Life. The Da'ath.

Consider if you will, the construction of the Freedom Tower, the Emerald City, a tower which will illuminate the heavens for the entire world to see. For more on the subject, please take direction towards The Wrong Way Wizard's blog 'The Golden Arse.'

The tower is (drum roll please) Isis!... isisisisis...?... that's right, the Queen of the Throne, the Egyptian goddess, The High Preistess. The one who wears the Crown.

Notice the letters on the pillars between Isis in the image above. B & J. A good old-fashioned BJ, of which I'm personally a big fan of. But also, Boaz and Jachin, the two pillars originally mentioned in First Kings.

Jachin - "He Establishes"

Boaz - "In Him is Strength"

We've entered into insanity I realize, but don't get off of your bike yet cuz the wheel's just started spinnin'.

The High Priestess sits between Jachin and Boaz, the Freedom Tower stands between the World Trade Towers... are we beginning to get a glimpse at what I'm getting at here? Upon completion, the Freedom Tower, the Crown of Isis will pierce the sky and reveal to us Abraxas.

Abraxas: the Chicken who won't come out of his egg. Again, for further information, turn to 'The Golden Arse.'

We now know why Abraxas, or why Jesus, the ol' J-Bone, won't come out of the egg, simply because should he break through the egg, the rest of us die. One sperm lives, 6.6 billion die.

We come back to the intricate web woven by the Keepers of the Secrets. We come back to early spring, and we celebrate Easter.

Putting aside the fact that Easter is in reality just an even more horrific version of 'The Passion of the Christ,' it is celebrated by the searching, discovering and eating of chocolate eggs, chocolate chickens and of course, chocolate rabbits. Apparently the best way to thank the Lord for His ultimate sacrifice is to obtain as many cavities as possible in the span of 4 days.

Ok, so we've established what Easter is... so let's crack its shell and fry it with some butter. We can do it in 4 easy steps. For more info, order my recipe book, which also contains the secret directions to the Rabbit's Hole.

1. The crucifix. Christ in his infamous spread eagle pose, sacrificing His life to save ours. Or is he pointing to something else altogether? Allow this comparison.

Isis sits between Jachin and Boaz, between God's establishment and His Strength. She wears a crucifix on Her chest.

Christ is on the crucifix, and if you look He is pointing to the left and to the right.

The Freedom Tower stands directly in the middle of the former standing points of the World Trade Towers, directly between Jachin and Boaz.

... Christ is Isis! Christ couldn't have died for our sins, because He hasn't even been born yet! Should He be born, He'd have no one to sacrifice Himself for because He'd have already killed us! The story of Christ, is in fact, the story of Isis, pointing to the heavenly above to where Christ is actually hiding.

Still not convinced? On to step numero dos.

2. The egg. Several, if not all of us, started as a single cell organism known as a 'sperm.' In high school biology we're taught that the sperm breaks through the egg after winning a race against millions of other sperm. It is then that the egg develops and a child is born blah, blah, blah... but what happens to the multitude of losing sperm? Why the gas chamber of course!

So when Christ was ready to break through the egg, what did He realize? That upon entry into the egg, the rest of us would have to have died. It's simply the way of the world.

"He who would be born must destroy a world." - Herman Hesse

May I offer you a Chocolate egg? No? Perhaps because during the Last Supper, Christ makes metaphors to eating His body and drinking His blood? Not metaphors my friends.

3. The chicken. What came first, the chicken or the egg? The answer... the egg. Simply put, when revealed to us, Abraxas will still be in the egg. Don't make me quote Hesse again.

4. 4 days. It took one day for Christ to die. It took 3 days before he could rise again. 4 days.

"Daleth is a horizontal line which is the Heavenly Ceiling, supported by a vertical/phallic stroke. The complete meaning is: Doorway or Stargate. Daleth is truly neither. It is rather the illusion of boundlessness as a Cosmological Light Show cast upon an invisible black screen (Space)."

- The Wrong Way Wizard

The 4 isn't a coinkidink I assure you. It isn't even a coincidence. The Daleth represents the path to the Heavenly Ceiling, and the 4 days of Easter Weekend, represent the Daleth.

A bright light shines, a secret revealed and... hey my eggs are done!